Yoga Journey

One thing this journey has tested, is my commitment to myself.  Normally, when I’m working to implement a new skill, I often blame my difficulty and blunders to a lack of consistency.

“Oh, I just couldn’t stick with it today because I was busy”

or

” Oh I’m too tired today, I need to be rested for tomorrow”

However, I realized…or admitted to myself that, it was not a lack of consistency, on my behalf.  I am consistent at whatever I commit to.  Realistically, I had never committed to myself.  I would find it easier to commit to things outside of myself, as if I owed more to others than myself.  I’m not sure when I adopted this idea, but once I recognized it, I had to change. I have been committed to treating myself like my first priority and this change fit into that narrative.  Recently my weekly yoga routine has been twice a week at home and once a week in class.  This week, I completed my first day, no problem.  My second day however, I was not feeling it.  When I woke up that morning, I contemplated postponing yoga until that evening, so that I could sleep for an extra hour.  I rationalized this is my mind and decided to snooze.  I went about my day, feeling like I owed myself yoga.  I owed it to myself to not blow off my commitment to myself!  All day I was looking forward to my time on the mat.  I am realizing that what started as a challenge, has now become my preferred choice.  When I got home, I found myself fighting the urge to blow off practice, to be lazy.  I was even beginning to rationalize it in my mind, “Oh you’ve had a long day and worked hard enough”. LOL! I mean, I needed to be real with myself. I was making excuses.  I was holding myself back! Although, I had worked nine hours that day and was feeling tired, I was certainly not too tired for this.  I often have to remind myself, that “trying” is not a thing. Either you do it, or you do not. Simple.